Purity Police

This a subject that i find fascinating. It's one of the few subjects that i take a stand on more for secular reasons than faith or Biblical reasons. The ramifications of casual sex, both emotionally and physically or medically, are the most logical and verifiable to discuss with kids and teens. You can restrict your sex talk to: "the Bible says ____" or "Mommy and Daddy believe ____," but when they encounter someone more persuasive who says something contrary, it may or may not hold. It's gotta be more comprehensive.

Frankly, if you confront a kid with the percentages of those who get STD's from their partners and the average number of partners that sexually active teenagers have, they will never encounter a more persuasive statistic. Tell a girl that she's twice as likely to graduate from college if she remains a virgin until she graduates from high school (true), and she may be more likely to abstain than if you say, "well i did it and the Bible says so."

i finished reading an article on Purity Balls for young girls to attend with their fathers and promise that they will let their fathers be the guardians and protectors of their hearts until their husband comes along. i was appalled. This happened on two levels...

First, as someone who finds this misogynistic and takes note that not all families have a father figure, or a good one, or a Christian one, this is backwards Medieval attempt to put women in their place.

Secondly, this is NOT a Biblical concept. As a Christian, i absolutely shudder at Christians peddling this notion. You are NOT to trust in earthly powers to protect you, but only God in heaven. It is also most definitely NOT a Biblical precept that you should or have to marry. In fact, Paul encourages you to stay single if you can manage it. And in none of his letters on the subject does he say that your father should protect you from men your whole life if you do not marry.

Fathers should of course take care of their daughters, but they should be taught to trust in God for protection or "purity," not their earthly father, if they have one present.

What i most appreciated was the end to the article. It balances the conservative and liberal viewpoints on this in a level-headed way i can totally get on board with.

"If you listen long enough, you wonder if there us really such a profound disagreement about what parents want for their children. Culture war by its nature pours salt in wounds, finds divisions where there could be common purpose. Purity is certainly a loaded word- but is there anyone who thinks it's a good idea for 12-year-olds to have sex? Or a bad idea for fathers to be engaged in the lives of their daughters and promise to practice what they preach? ...On the one hand, for all the conservative outcry, there is no evidence that giving kids complete and accurate information about sex and contraception encourages promiscuity. On the other, a purity pledge basically says that sex is serious. That it's not to be entered into recklessly. To deny kids information, whether about contraception or chastity, is irresponsible; to mock or dismiss as an unrealistic goal of personal responsibility in all its forms may suit the culture, but it gives kids too little power, too little control over their decisions, as though they're incaple of making good ones. The research suggests they may be more capable of high standards than parents are."