Struggles...

So, in the past 7 or 8 years, i've struggled with certain topics and terminology and whatnot. Some are merely semantic issues. Others could be written off as personal preference or political correctness. Still others are deeply culturally routed. i have had varying degrees of success. Here are some of those things...


Things i've become very intentional about and MATTER to me (in no particular order of importance):

i try very hard not to call dreadlocks, "dreads." i call them dreadlocks or locks if i can remember. My buddy from a YAV discernment weekend had locks and reminded me that they got their name from slave drivers who thought they looked DREADFUL. Since most of them i have seen make me envious, i try to be culturally sensitive and reflect that.

i haven't used the word "gay" to refer to anything dumb since probably 9th grade. My youth group had a mantra, "gay doesn't mean stupid." We had to say it a lot to one of my good friends. i'm kinda of proud of my youth group for this.

i won't say, "i love you, but..." i read an article in Reader's Digest in college in which a man wrote that the 3 most beautiful words in the English language were "i love you," and the 4 most hurtful were, "i love you, but..." i believe this is true. i won't do it.

i rarely, if ever say "your mom" or "your mama" to anyone about anything. i do occassionally slip up since it was prevelant on my hall in college. It was a common cutdown and putdown since i was in grade school. However, too many people have tenuous relationships with parents or have lost parents and it's just not a good idea. "That's what she said," is pretty darn funny though.

Speaking of mama's, i won't ask a woman about her baby or pregnancy unless she herself has told me she IS pregnant. So much trouble to be had there. DON'T DO IT!

i almost NEVER tell jokes any more about women or blondes, even though in the past i told jokes about men and brunettes to balance it out. And i will NEVER tell a race joke, despite my non-belief in race, or maybe because of it. There are too many barriers to unity and harmony already without my speed bumps added to the mix. i will still tell my one Irish joke and i make no apologies. i'm Irish, i love Ireland and it's people (i'm even wearing my Made in Ireland shirt as i write this), it's not that bad, and it's mostly very true. So there. Deal.


Things i still struggle with:

i can't get behind ethnic or racial labels. At all. i have trouble with keeping up with labels of different races because race is a human construction, and as long as we keep labeling it and pointing it out and holding meetings exclusive to one or the other and put it on standardized tests and census forms and driver's licenses and applications and talk about the culture of various skin tones, we perpetuate a divisive myth.

i also struggle with names like Indians or Native Americans or First Peoples. i mean, none are very accurate. 'Indians' is inacurate because it's a holdover from Columbus' mistake. 'Native' is absurd since most scientist recognize they emigrated here on land mass, rather than by boat. 'First People' is rather confusing if you consider they weren't the first people, just the first people on this continent, and that's too long a name. Thus: struggle.

i've also been struggling for the past few years about Biblical authority on various topics. For instance, i've never held myself to kosher eating habits because i read post-Gospel books as repealing those requirements. But i also ignore things like wearing two different kinds of threads in one shirt and i don't blow a big horn every month or wear white all the time or fringe on my shirts, etc which are all Biblical mandates that i never see repealed. So what then do i do with passages forbidding homosexual behavior? Do i decide that's important and should be considered sinful and condemn gay friends or do i lump it into archaic culturally significant requests like women not speaking in church or wearing bonnets? i'm not willing to do that, to simply dismiss anything Biblical. So, i continue to struggle, read, discern, pray and ask for God's guidance and the Holy Spirit to be present each time i read the Bible, and of course, listen to people whom i love and respect.


One no one cares about:

i will NOT buy Girl Scout cookies from a parent of a Girl Scout. Not in a tree, not with a flea. Not in a house, not with a mouse. i WILL buy from ANY GIRL Scout who asks me (much to my poor wife's chagrin). However, i'm pretty isolated from that in my current state of life, so i got away with only buying 2 boxes this year. (this policy may change in protest if the boxes keep going up in price)

**Picture by a friend, Emilie Fingado. She's a rockin' great artist.**