The Beauty Around Us

I saw American Beauty for the first time this morning. Granted, it's very strange and I'm not sure I'd ever recommend it to anyone at all, well, ever, but it did have its moments. In particular, the moment when Kevin Spacey is talking to his daughter's best friend at the end of the movie. He wants so desperately to know how his daughter is doing and how her life is going. There's a combination of parents with a lack of interest in their teenager's lives and those that don't have any idea how to ask.

The really interesting moment is when the girl finishes and asks Spacey, "Well, how are things with you?" And she is quite sincere. One of the things that came up in college a lot with my international friends is how strange a custom it is in America to ask how you're doing as a greeting. No one actually cares or wants a complete answer. They are hoping you say fine so they can say the same and continue on. Kevin Spacey seems pleasantly taken aback. "No one has asked me that in a very long time," he says smiling. i frequently ask people that very question very aware of the depth it can go. i'm always surprised when at the reaction. If you want to try an experiment, ask one person each day how things are going, how they are for a week. Ask it with complete sincerity and make it apparent you're actually waiting for an answer. You won't move till you get it, no matter how brief or in-depth. Give it a week.