Dis-courage-d

It occurred to me today that maybe i have been discouraged. i tend to have extra-ordinarily high self-esteem and my psych evaluation pegged me as having a "healthy ego." i know, get your jaws off the floor. If you're reading this, you know me well enough to know the psych eval was a waste of money ;-)

Seminary, who many people have called "cemetery" for its deleterious effects on the psyche and soul, can be quite detrimental to one's mental health. CPE can do the same. An experience of both of those in a year when one is seeking a call or a job in this economic climate is quite a ball of wax.

So today, as i am recounting the latest woes of my own life and those of my wife to a dear college friend and sharing her woes as well, i pulled into the Lowe's parking lot. As my friend assured me that, one day, all will be right with the world, i saw before me the most perfect rainbow that i have ever seen. It stretched from horizon to horizon, all the colors perfectly visible. i could see the entire arc with no breaks. i was astounded.

i usually think of courage as a powerful word. It's a loaded word. It conjures images for some of soldiers and sacrifice. For others it conjures images of those fighting terminal illness or standing up to injustice. But what about the flip side? Discouraged? i usually think of that like i think of depression... anger without enthusiasm. But what if discouragement is just as deeply passionate or emotionally invested as courage?

Just before i wrote this, i read a story from a good friend who sat with a dying man this week. He was the last person to speak with him. My friend asked the man where he'd like to go if he could go anywhere. The man said he'd like to go to the beach. He said that's where people go. He said he liked people. He said he wanted to be with people.

The rainbow threw into sharp relief that which i hadn't realized i was so deeply in the midst of. That man threw into perspective that which often eludes me... even i can get discouraged. Even i might need to be encouraged. i don't often have a shortage of encouragement. My wife has most recently been dramatically encouraging and my friends. i think i'm probably not the only one who doesn't recognize my own need for it. If you're anything like me, i hope you take some time to seek it if you need it. That's my life lesson this week.